mel feeling emo these day ^^ sry

hmm.. today is 5th of jan.. the third day i broke up wif him hehe i still rmb we broke up at 12am 3rd of jan.. that we talked on the phone for 2 hours plus.. hehe

so he became my gud fren for now.. i admit i still very miss him.. missing the time he alwayz call me after work.. call me b4 sleep.. we joke.. we are so sweet.. hehe but i know i have to accept it.. even i hav to tahan n tell myself not to call him if nothing.. coz last time i will call him if i miss him but is for nothing.. i will still wearing the ring he bought for me.. that day i went pub wif him.. i still saw he is still wearing im happy.. or he juz didnt realized the ring? haih i also duwan to think so much.. i saw the bear he gave me for anniversary also.. im still hugging the bear.. but he is no-longer for me to hug.. haih it makes me think alot bout last time.. im still that love him.. i still feel happy, hang fuk and sweet when wif him.. but why he feel differently.. i dunno wat to say bout this..

actually also have to thanks my fren alot alot.. they know i broke up wif frens.. they support me.. somemore even say treat me nice nice de lunch hehe.. yam cha wif me.. go out wif me.. talk wif me more.. accept my emotional chit chat these day hehe so sry to my fren.. but i really appreciate alot.. they really cheer my days.. but everytime when i come back wif myself alone.. i will think bout him again.. how wish he is still there wif me.. but i alwayz controling myself.. i wish i could.. my fren tell me it takes time.. yeah i know.. but is really hard.. really hard.. i still miss him alot.. thats why i do so much thing to cover my sadness.. i duwan to let myself so free and think bout him all the time.. i shud take up the broke up although i dun wish to.. so fast.. so short.. actually i dunno wat to write.. but i juz feel like posting about this.. i wan to remember my feeling at the time i break up wif him..

i still rmb we did cried.. but we did laugh.. we did joke.. we did happen to an agreement.. we are gud fren .. hehe until now, i still alwayz wish that he will realized one day, how important is me for him.. but if it doesnt? hehe so i know i shud not put any hope inside.. shud not hurt myself more.. i juz know i really miss him.. really wish to get his call.. really wish to hear his words that he still miss me.. he need me.. but im telling myself.. stop lie-ing to myself..

i really still rmb the time we planned for our future.. our everything.. house.. car.. kids.. family.. hehe sound funny huh? but i really feel hang fuk when talking bout this to him.. cause i know he is a guy that serious to the future.. but now i have to rub off those dream wif him.. im really sad.. really sad.. really disappointed.. yeah i tot.. why i can love someone forever.. but not someone loving me forever.. no doubt.. live happily ever after.. mayb thats my fate.. no.. i shud not say thats fate.. cause i still blive i will have my true love.. yeah.. for now, i wish it is still him.. hmm.. many fren tell me that mayb i can find a better one in the future.. who noes.. and juz let it be.. for me, i still wish he will find me back and give me the hang fuk life he promise last time.. gosh.. dun lie urself already mel.. plz stop it..

i know he also felt sad bout our break up.. but he choose to do so.. for me, if he feel better if we break up.. so i will respect him.. my fren tell me.. duwan let myself to regret in the future.. make sure wats my feeling.. im very sure that i will regret if i didnt happen to couple wif him again in the future.. cause my love to him still so strong.. never fade before.. but i have no choice to break up wif him now.. i can't express my love to him.. only can express here.. or juz say.. keep to myself.. ... ... ... juz have to admit.. i dunno wat he really wants.. wat he thinking already.. im so disappointed of myself..

mayb until now.. is to be continue.. i juz dunno wat to write again hehe.. will continue when my feeling come hehe.. thx for reading my words, fren.. love u all ^^ yeah, im the person who hate loneliness.. but now mayb i will face it.. but i have to accept.. i know ^^ i can stand up for myself.. continue my study n my life very very nicely ^^

i really miss him.. ~cry~