Monday, 31 December 2007

For the one i love the most ^^

what shud i say.. i juz feel like blogging.. and my mood was so unstable.. when i think back how sweet is me n him.. i feel jealous bout myself >< why those happiness oni for that time.. how about now..

hmm im not saying now dun have happiness wif him.. but wat can admit is.. now our relationship is like rational is more than happiness.. last time we will juz dun care everything.. we enjoy ourselve.. we laugh.. we crazy.. we do watever we wan to.. we go anywhere we wan to.. everyone are juz jealous about us.. but now.. i feel that he grew up many.. im happy for him.. but im juz feel that he take it too serious about our future.. i know i shud happy bout that.. but.. how to say.. is juz.. why dun we happy for now.. who noes wat happen next?? yeah.. i know there is too much of external prob of us.. we face many different attitude.. different family.. different thinking.. wat also different.. but coz of we very tolerate each other.. so prob only occur now.. i feel that he is not that care me like last time.. is not that he dun care me now.. is.. mayb he is not that careful.. or hmm.. attentive to me like last time he did..

that time i break up wif him.. i still rmb i sit on his bed in his room.. i cried, his heart pain and he bend down his knee on the floor.. and hold my hand tight.. he put my hand on his mouth and kiss me.. he said "my dear, i really love u very much.. i have this decision.. i do all this because wan to give u a better future.. im very mind that u're suffering wif me.. i duwan u to suffer.. but to give u the best life i can giv.. this is my first time i planned this to my girl that i love.. plz trust me.. that i can did it for you.. i will come wif ur dream car.. and our dream house.. i will give u the grand wedding that u see in ur dream.. i want everyone jealous my wife.. let ur fren happy for u.. let ur parents feel proud of u.. and let u proud of being my wife.. i juz need u to trust me.. forever i will oni love u.. i need ur support.. ur support is the biggest to me.. i need u.. need u to be the women behind me.." and he cried..

im very touched.. i cried more n more.. my heart feel so pain.. i have to separate wif someone i love the most.. and the one who love me the most too.. but i have no choice to respect his decision.. i duwan any arguement happened btw us.. i ask myself to be patient for him.. and bring him through his toughest period of his life.. i muz be strong.. and i have to trust myself..
he said all this.. i muz trust him as i love him very much.. but i know i have a tough period to go on.. i have to take off his moodyness.. emo-ness.. tiredness.. alot more.. and the word he told me izzit come true in the future.. thats not the thing i want to ask.. i juz wan to be wif the one i love.. thats all.. only wants his appreciation.. understand.. love n care on me..

everyone said he treat me very gud.. mayb is coz of he treat me too gud last time.. n now im not used to the way he treat me now.. i will ask for more caring.. wat also hope for more.. mayb coz he pampered me too much.. now.. i wish he understand me more.. i know he is very busy for work.. very tired after work.. but i wan he alwayz rmb he alwayz got me beside him.. but he seem like more taking rest.. sleep.. aiks.. i understand.. but sometime i dun feel gud when he is moody n not beside me when i need him..

actually everyone asking me how's my relationship wif him.. i dunno how to answer.. i juz know that we agree to break for one year.. give each other more time.. but.. few days ago.. he juz told his mom we couple back.. im very happy but haih.. i also dunno wat he thinking.. i dun even wan to ask him.. cause i duwan get any arguement wif this prob again.. he is very emotion these day.. sometimes he treat me very gud.. sometime.. he will suddenly hurt me by his word or action.. im asking myself.. do i really understand him? yes i do.. but why he change so frequently and i like cannot catch his thinking nowadays.. so shud i treat us couple back edi or still breaking for 1 year? ahh.. confuse..!! but.. as the day i first couple wif him.. i nvr treat him as we broke up.. i alwayz treat him as my boy.. cause i love him..

i wont get any answer from him.. even i ask him.. i think he also dunno how to answer.. coz he cannot put me down.. n also he have his target.. he cannot choose to have anyone of it alone.. thats why im here.. innocent.. n quiet.. stay beside him.. as he said.. be the women behind him.. hmm.. i now really understand.. how pain n hard to be the women behind someone that is ambigious.. but i really love him.. i really do.. i have no choice.. i have to be patient.. i have to look forward.. i have to dicipline up myself.. i still have my studies to go on.. God plz help me..!!

i wish, one day, he come n tell me.. he understand all my feeling.. he willing to share wif me my everyday.. willing to tolerate.. cope wif me.. to give me a wonderful life.. i keep trust in him that he will give me one day..

bi, i will alwayz be wif u.. i won't give up so easily.. for our future.. our road.. our everything ...
plz stay beside me, and let me stay beside u, plz understand my feelings.. my everything.. i did everything juz wan to ask for happiness on us.. bi, juz remember, i will trust u alwayz n forever.. plz do not doubt on me.. have confidence on us n trust in me ^^

2 comments:

Wey Yew said...

lou yao support wakaka..

mel mel said...

thx wor ^^ haha appreciate lots lots.. bluek